yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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