Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You've changed since you got that strap on
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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