Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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