So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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