I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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