May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize