please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
