sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Will exercising make me less horny?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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