How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
as a side note pls kill me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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