So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
