I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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