We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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