Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
