I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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