Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
