weddingsv make me drug and hornr
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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