Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize