K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
