i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
