Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
