May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
