me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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