Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
