i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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