And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
