so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
