WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
