If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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