all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
