is your mom at the bar?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She's the barista slut.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
