***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
