it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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