Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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