Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
