i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
