Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
