What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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