I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize