So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
high people should be assigned attendants
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Randomize
