dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
