You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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