I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
