haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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