I need help removing her.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize