U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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