dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
