youre lurking in front of me
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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