i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize