Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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