OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
