I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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