I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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