If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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