I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I deserve this hangover.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize