I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize