That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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