If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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