i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
