That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
