i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
