i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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