Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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