ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
