you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
