good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
