my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
