Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
