I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
