Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
