Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
