Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
