hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
