I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
