you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Barsexuality is the new black.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She has the best kind of daddy issues
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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