Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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